Domain Kain

News Archive

February 2003

A New Day, A New Year
Post on 2/24/2003 by Kain

A new day has come. Domain Kain's second year starts today. Although I am still on vacation, I have made a secret update from an unknown computer. I have seen Shadow's plees on various sites, but I knew Wolfbane and he could handle it. I promise I will return soon. I will give one hint as to where I am. Think "silent assasin". Goodbye, and may Domain Kain have another great year. Sayonara.

Game Over
Post on 2/23/2003 by Wolfbane

The battle was brutal and short. Being the dumbass he is, and equiping himself with nothing but a spoon, Biosoldier was no match for the might of the alliance... But let me back up a bit and explain...

At approximately noon today, the two factions met. Shadow and Wolfbane on one side... BarbieBoy on the other. Neither Cheesyboy nor Biosoldier showed up. Shadow and I had come properly equipped for the event. We had taken a visit to a gun shop downtown, one that Kain frequents, and the after some... persuasion... the owner was kind enough to give us all the merchandise we wanted, free of cost. So we appeared on the snow covered field, armed with enough weapons of mass destruction as to make George Bush wet his pants. Barbie Boy appeared on the other side of the field armed with, I kid you not, a spoon. Not wanting to waste our ammo, we bashed his skull in with our bare fists. With blood dripping down his face, he asked for mercy. Shadow and I looked at each other, nodded, then continued to beat him. We considered killing him, but we had no place to store the body. Instead, we dragged his inert body over to the hospital and left him on the front doorstep. It was decided that perhaps the staff over at Blue Score could use him for something.

The only way this affects you, the reader, is that you won't have to see his punk ass updates. That, and his name had been removed from the staff page. In honor of this "Dragon's" demise, we have posted up two of Transmetal's stories. The DMV story and his Creative Story. Make the best of this Barbie Boy free day.

The Dragon Will Kick Your Ass
Post on 2/22/2003 by Barbie Boy

Well well... I see that not only Shadow and Wolfbane have decided to resist me... But Cheesy as well. Although, he appears to have run away. As I said before, he is of no consequence.

Apparently they wish to attack me on the first aniversary of the site. So be it. Biosoldier and I will slaughter them. Just wait...

Leaving on a jet plane
Post on 2/21/2003 by Cheesy Boy

Well it's a day late, but I'm not a dollar short. I uploaded my Final Fantasy 7 review, and I made the Ape Escape review avalable again. It was just pissing me off sitting there.

So today I leave at 4:30. And despite the title, I'm not flying. I know your disapointed about that, but hey, I don't care. So enjoy, and good bye.

What? Is Kain the only one who can go on Vacation?
Post on 2/20/2003 by Cheesy Boy

Hey all. I'm going on vacation starting tomorrow, but before I went I wanted to give all you nice people a present. Intoducing Life Experience! It's an idea I had. We have been making up all these stories, so I thought why not threw in a real one? The whole grandpa thing ain't true, but... you know.

I'm kind of busy, tying up lose ends and getting work done, but if I finish early I will try to write a review for the immortal game FF7. It's my favorite game of all time, and it's in competition for Kain's. But no promises, okay?

So as I was saying, I'm going on a cruise, I'll be back about a week from sunday. I hope the Alliance can hold. I hope there is a site to come back to...

The Dragon is...uh...something
Post on 2/19/2003 by Shadow

Many of you have probably heard of the new alliance between Wolbane and I. It's completely true. Wolbane and I are already coming up with the perfect plan to bust Barbie Boy's ass in less than four days. Although I have tried my best, Kain still hasn't responded to anything I have sent him. He gave me a phone number to call if I ever wanted to reach him, but when I called it, I found out it was to "Sucker's Anonymous" and not to Kain's cell phone. Always loyal to Kain, I will smite Barbie Boy and keep the site safe until Kain's return. Until then, VIVA LE SHADOWBANE ALLIANCE! Oh, and Cheesy Boy has a SPECIAL announcement.

Hi Barbie Boy. Before today I had yet to take a side, and I am now pleased to anounce that I have chosen. Barbie Boy, I must say I hate you, I would never live under your rule. So I will join the Shadow Bane Alliance. So fuck you BB. I will kill yee!

The Dragon Can Shut His Mouth
Post on 2/17/2003 by Wolfbane

BarbieBoy couldn't lead ants to a picnic. His incapacity to do anything but rave like a lunitic has forced Shadow and I to bring his sorry ass down to earth. The first anniversary of this site is coming soon, on the 23rd of Febuary. It will be on that day, that we shall once and for all take that bastard down from his perch and give him the whupping of his life.

In order to fuel the revolutionary fever of this site's readers, I have hacked into the server (with the help of one of Jabox4's specialty programs) and uploaded the second part to the Journal of a Tourtured Soul series. I have also taken the liberty of getting into Transmetal's computer and uploading his Super Mario Sunshine review.

You should hear another message from Shadow soon... So stay tuned.

The Dragon Has Teeth
Post on 2/10/2003 by BarbieBoy

The mop up of resistance continues, as I track down every last remaining member of the site. So far, I have managed to bring content updates to a complete halt. This shall continue until I decide otherwise, or decide to post some content myself. I read last week's update by Shadow, and found it to be mildly entertaining.

First, understand that Kain IS NOT COMING BACK FOR A LONG TIME. His vacation was schedueled to last for several or more months. When he does come back, I plan to have a "welcoming committee" take care of him. Second, I am fully aware of what his staff members are capable of doing. That is, they couldn't punch their way out of a paper bag... A wet one at that. Shadow is nothing more than a prophet, he uses his words to no avail. He is too much of Kain's bitch to be able to take action himself. Wolfbane is nowhere to be found, but I have several people tracking him in a major eastern city. Biosoldier is currently on assignment, by me. And I frankly don't care where Cheesy Boy is, he is of no consequence. More so than any of the other staff members.

Until next week, keep your heads bowed and your mouths shut. I have control now, and there is no one that can stop me.

The True Dragon is Returning
Post on 2/2/2003 by Shadow

Hey Shadowlites. If you haven't read yesterdays post, read it now. Barbie Boy has taken over the site. He has canceled all of your favorite extras and is doing away with many other things. Any site member that refuses to ally with him is in serious danger of being "disposed of." I however have taken the initiative for the sake of all the fans out there. I have put countless messages on many of Kain's favorite sites, begging him to return. I have sent all the information needed to him. He still hasn't responded to any of the coded messages yet, but I am confident that the true Dragon will return. Mark my words traitor! Kain is coming!

Enter the Dragon
Post on 2/1/2003 by Barbie Boy

Have you been wondering why Transmetal hasn't been updating? Or where has Jabox4 been? Let us not forget Kain... What happened to them? Why has there been no updates? I will tell you WHY...

I did. I have finally taken up my rightful place as supreme commander of this site. None of the content has changed. I don't care about content. I care nothing for quality. All I have ever wanted was power. I bid my time, I suffered the pain of the name "Barbie Boy". Such a deceptive name, wasn't it? You all assumed me to be harmless, useless. But now, my time has come. With Kain on vacation and "mysteriously" out of communication, with Transmetal out on a blind date with an Ostrich, with Jabox4 occupied with his new copy of Freespace 2... There is no one left to stand in my way.

No longer am I just Barbie Boy. I have become something much greater, much more powerful. Bow to me, oh you insignificant readers. I would tell you of the changes to occur in the next month of so, under my leadership, but I'll refer you to my paper on being a Dark Overlord instead.

Now Wolfbane, now that you know why the site has not been updated. I demand your allegiance, and that of all the other staff members, by the 10th of Febuary. Refuse, and you will be... Disposed of...