His room was large, furnished in the most expensive way possible. Elaborate carpeting and incredibly deep, leather furniture surround the room. Near the large window sat a desk. From the desk, Shen Tzu-Long glazed at the defense report given to him, just moments ago. Shen marveled at Kain's resilience. According to these very reports, he had been captured by some unknown band of mercenaries. Supposedly, these mercenaries had been hired by Transmetal. Shen just gave a smirk; Transmetal wasn't that intelligent. Someone was toying with Kain.

"So, Kain is plotted against as well... By whom, I wonder..."

Regardless of his opinion on Transmetal, it was an interesting concept. And regardless of what had happened to Kain, or whomever had attempted the ploy, he had escaped. And he was now beefing up "Nemises".

"Vladimir, are you truely fool enough to believe that he built this army just to fight against us?"

Shen tosses the report back at Vladimir, who promptly catches it.

"Well, it makes sense, doesn't it? Who else would he fight against?"

"Vladimir, dear Vladimir. What little intelligence you posses is surpassed by your ignorance."

Shen turns back towards the window. He gazes upon the courtyard. Children play there, as the adults sit under the shade of a tree and talk. How pitiful, he mused. All these people, so ignorant of the threat they were faced with. Would they be so happy, or act so gaily if they knew what danger they were in? Kain's army wasn't just preparing for them; No, they were getting ready for something else. Something so powerful, so dangerous, even Kain was worried. Suddenly, a disturbance at the door. In response, Shen glances at a monitor to his left, which shows the recording from the security camera over the door.

"Curses, it's Transmetal. Vladimir? Show this pest the door, I don't need him bothering me right now."

"At once, sir."

Shen turns back to the window. Transmetal was more of a nuisance than a challenge. He was probably here to accuse him of uploading Barbie Boy into the computers, again. Shen didn't mind, he had the real culprit lockedd up in his wine cellar, along with Barbie Boy. Attempting to neutralize the threat of computer virus, Shen ordered his troops to print Barbie Boy out in binary. Then to put him onto ticker-tape. He then destroyed the diskette, and the only machine capable of reading the tape. Shen smiled. Oh yes, there were several other Aces he had on hand too, in order to win the election. The presidency was as good as his. Shed errupted in a fit of maniacle laughter, but broke down into a fit of coughing. Oh well, he'd find some other way of displaying his vileness.

Transmetal was thirsty. As president of the colony, it was his duty to tour the colony on a daily basis. He usually did this in his '77 Winnebago. But his tires had been stolen the previous morning, so he decided to walk it. 36 hours later, he was exhausted, dirty, and thirsty. His thirst was so great, that no ordinary drink could cure it. He needed a special something, and he knew there was only one place to get it: Marvin's closet. But there was one tiny problem.

"Yo! Paperboy."

Transmetal yells out to some random hobo he notices on the street corner. The hobo is busy drinking liquor, when he notices Transmetal frantically waving his arms and screaming at him.

"Huh? Me?"

"Yea, you. I was wondering if you knew where Marvin lives?"

The Hobo gives him a blank stare, and takes a swig of liquor.

Oh come on, Mr.Paperboy. You know, the guy that lives in that secluded mansion? The guy who never comes out of his home, and never socializes?"

The hobo continues to stare.

"The one nobody knows about?"

"Ohhhhhh... Him? Go down Broadband av., and take a left onto Chao Dr."

"Thanks. Hey, gimme that."

Transmetal swipes the liquor out of the hobo's grasp, and runs down the street.

Back on Dark World, at 128 Halo Lane, lived an old man. The fact that he was still alive at his age was amazing enough, as no "old" people lived on Dark World. This was amazing enough, that it was brough to the attention of Kain. Assuming that this man must have some sort of mystical powers, he goes to this man's house, seeking knowledge.

BAM!

Kain breaks down the door, not bothering to knock. An old and withered man stares blankly at him. Kain suddenly realizes that he has broken the wall, not a door. Without skipping a beat, he speaks:

"Greetings. I am the one called Kain, ruler of Dark World. I come here seeking knowledge of the future."

"Ahem... Don't got none of that sonny. But I got here some refreshments in the fridge."

Kain, a caffine addict who craves his hourly Cherry Coke, graciously accpets. After drinking, he continues.

"It is my understanding that you have some special powers of foresight, which has allowed you to age in your years without threat of death."

"Errrrrrrrmm... Nope. But I got this here X-Box I like to play..."

"Enough of this! I am no fool! I see past your disguise!"

"..."

"I need this knowledge to save my own ass... er... to protect Dark World!"

"Look sonny, yer talk'n crazy..."

"If you don't help me, I'll blow your cover to the whole world!"

"..."

"Understand?"

"Right, you win."

The man flips a switch. The lights turn off, a glowing crystal globe rises from the floor. Plush leather seating appears in a semi-circle around the globe. Kain seats himself.

"Now Kain, what is it you wish to see?"

"I wish to see Transmetal's location..."

The man closes his eyes, and waves his arms in a random fashion across the globe. The colors swirl in a similar fashion, they suddenly plunge into a thick black.

"Ahhhh... There, you should be able to see Transmetal. Is this what you wanted?"

The man speaks, but hasn't yet opened his eyes. The globes remains black.

"Noooooo... Not quite."

The man opens his eyes, and gives a look of shock.

"Dear me... What's wrong with it tod..."

Kain thrusts his arm through the man's chest, splattering blood everywhere. Kain crushes the still-beating heart in his hand.

"Shit, stupid muscle spasms."

He retracts his arm, starring at the blood in his hand.

"This'll make good popsicle juice though..."

Unknown to Kain, the ball had shown Transmetal's location. Surprisingly, Transmetal had found the drink he so desperatly sought. Good Koolaid was hard to come by these days; but Transmetal had found it. Unsurprisingly though, he had managed to somehow lock himself in. In the utter darkness of the closet, he sat pondering his fate, and drinking his Cherry Koolaid. There, he stayed for who knows how many days. Occasionally Marvin would come in to give him more water, to mix into Koolaid. Other than that, Transmetal remain trapped.

"This sucks."

These were his only words in captivity. After about two weeks, however, a thought struck him. He reached out, and flicked on the light switch. Behind him lay the door, his only exit. In front of him, lay a huge cavern; a tunnel that tunneled its way for an incredible distance.

"Well, no shit. I spend all this time here, when I could have escaped through this tunnel."

"You could have also left when I opened the door to give you water, like right now."

Marvin stands at the doorway, with a pitcher of water.

"Yea right, ha, like I'm going to believe you after you betrayed your president!"

"But you aren't..."

"Don't bother me traitor!"

"But the election was..."

"Ha ha! I have covered my ears! I can no longer hear you! Ha ha!"

Transmetal begins to walk through the cave, leaving a completely bewildered Marvin to call in the cops.

On Dark World, some rather unexpected political shifts are taking place. Well, unexpected to Kain, at least. Tifa has just signed the order for a nuclear explosive to be taken out of storage. Upon finding this out, Kain quickly returns from his trip to speak with her.

"Tifa! What in my hell are you doing?!"

"I just signed off the order to bring in a weapon of mass destruction, do you see anything wrong with that?"

"Yes! I would've ordered more!"

Tifa narrows her eyes at Kain.

"You mean we have more in storage, and you hid them from me..."

"Well, I was... Saving them for the fourth of July!"

Tifa leaps from her chair. She hits Kain with a powerful Kick, sending him to the other side of the room.

"You dolt! We have a force more powerful than any in history heading right towards us, AND YOU'RE PLANNING AN INDEPENDENCE DAY CELEBRATION?!"

"Well, it wouldn't be much of an independence day... We're a monarchy... Oh, wait. Weren't we going to fight against Transmetal?"

Tifa laughs.

"You're ignorance is more threatening than Transmetal... He's but a minor inconvenience."

In the background, outside of the room, the guards begin to laugh uncontrollably. Seeing Kain turn from evil tyrant to some woman's bitch in less than a week is nothing short of impossible, but it happened none the less. Kain and Tifa take a break from arguing about who they're going to attack, and murder both the guards.

"Mmmm... More popsicle juice."

"What did you just say Kain?"

"Ummmm... Nothing..."

Transmetal continues to walk through the cave in utter darkness for about 15 minutes. But then he opens his eyes, and remembers that he had already flipped on the lights. When he comes to the end of the tunnel, he stops, gazing ahead with horror at what lies ahead. Ahead of him, there is an open entrance into a room. In the room, lies a man; a man tied to a support beam, a man with a spoon.

"It's! It's YOU!"

The man looks up. He's wearing a green jacket.

"Yes, it is I, Biosoldier. Leader of the greatest civilian militia in history, or at least it was reduced to a single digit membership. Damn, I'm hungry."

Biosoldier turns, and impales a rat with a spoon. He begins to eat it with said utensil. It is at this point that Transmetal decides to not talk to him. Not that he would have had the chance though. The door that leads to the upstairs (hey, wait a minute, we're in a wine cellar?!) is broken down, and S.W.A.T. team members stream in.

"Put your hands on your head! Do it! Do it now!"

Transmetal is quickly hand-cuffed and led outside by three guards. He struggles to break free.

"I'm the president of the colony, damnit! Let me go!"

The leading officer orders the other two guards to halt, and turns to Transmetal.

"Not anymore. You see, you missed the election. It was two days ago."

"No! Don't tell me that... that Vladimir was voted president!"

"No, I wasn't"

Transmetal turns around. He sees Vladimir standing at the doorway of the house. Oh, so that was his house; thinks Transmetal.

"Then, did Shen abandon you? Did he run by himself?"

The lead officer speaks this time.

"No, he died before the election. He drooled to death.

"Errr... What?"

Trust me, you don't want to know.

"Well, what I DO want to know is WHO WON THE ELECTION?!"

"The Koolaid man."

"WHAT?!"

"He was also elected prime minister and pope."

"But we don't have either of those positions on Bingo!"

"We do now!"

Transmetal has heard enough. He built the colony with his own hands, raised each and every one of these test tube babies. Well, maybe not. He only raised about 5 or so before getting bored. But this colony was going to pot, and he needed to get off it. He needed a way off, NOW.

"Hey, officer? LOOK! AIR!"

Transmetal widly points in some random direction. All of the officers ask "Where?". Taking advantage of the distraction, Transmetal raises his Ki (i.e. powers up). He breaks open the handcuffs, and swings his fist at the nearest guard.

SMACK

The guard falls to the ground. The second guard attempts to raise his handgun, and aim at Transmetal. Too late. The guard is kicked hard into the stomach. He loses his aim, and ends up shooting the third guard in the head. Transmetal begins to run away, but not before flipping the bird off to Vladimir.

"Screw you guys! I'm going back down to Dark World!"

Transmetal runs off towards the space port, leaving Vladimir to clamly slip his coffee. He briefly considers calling the police, but he goes inside and plays Gamecube instead. After all, even a simple side character needs a break from large epic plots. Vladimir recalls how he had "accidently" injected Shen with a sample of the rabies virus. Oops. Oh well. Maybe he'd take up scrabble...

To Be Continued...
Once we get off our butts and start writing

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