The Endless Macarena
--Episode 2--
"The Event That Never Happened"
Written by: TransmetalNarrator: The year; After Colony 196. After the end of the war, 5 young teenagers piloting their Mobile Suits called Gundams found themselfs inbetween a rock and a hard place. They attempted to enter the dock of MOII through a small door, but couldn't fit, and ended up hurting their Mobile Suits. They flew off towards the nearest Home Depot, with revenge in their hearts.
Setting: Earth, local Home Depot.
Scene: Nice, peaceful, quiet, sunny. Manager is outside attempting to smoke several cigars at once.
Manager: Soooo... Want one?
Customer: Um, what?
Manager: Oh nothing, I'm just talking to myself.
Customer: Er... Right...
(Customer resumes searching for his car)
Manager: Fucking dumbass, get a job.
Customer: Excuse me?!
(Manager turns around, frustrated)
Manager: I've already told you! I'm talking to myself!
Customer: Ok! Peace...
Manager: Damn customers... So incompetent...
Customer: ALRIGHT!! THAT'S IT!!! YOU'RE GONNA...
(Customer looks up, sees what looks like a metorite falling towards them)
Manager: Hmm... Fucking customers... Go to hell...
Customer: WHY YOU!!! Grrrr...
(The customer is about to lunge towards the manager, when the meteorite he had been observing lands on him, crushing him)
Manager: ...
(Heero crawls out from crater, makes grunting noise)
Manager: ...
(Heero begins nonchalantly attaching explosives to the outside of the building)
Manager: Dumb ass metorites... Falling on top of my fucking customers...
Heero: Did someone just say something?
Manager Hm? Oh, I'm just talking to myself
Heero: Oh, I thought someone was talking...
Manager: I just WAS!
(Heero continues placing bombs around the building)
Manager: HELLO!!! ANYBODY THERE?!
(Heero turns around, faces Manager)
Heero: Here, hold it
(Heero hands Manager an explosive)
Manager: HOLY SHIT!!! IT'S A BOMB!!!
(Manager drops the bomb, and runs. One of several falling Gundams lands on him)
Wu Fei: FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!!
(As soon as Trowa and Quatra land, the three Gundams start blasting at the Home Depot building, slaughtering the customers inside)
Quatra: To deny one's kindness is wrong. There's nothing more important than life in this universe, Sandrock taught me that.
(Quatra shoots apart the dead bodies of several victims)
Trowa: ...
(Looks at dead bodies, hesitates, then joins in shooting)
Duo: Heh! Are the explosives rigged?
(Duo is standing over the next-door Toys'r'us, stepping on and mutilating bodies)
Heero: The explosives are set, will I have enough time to escape?
Duo: You could just walk away from the building before...
Heero: Not enough time... Must activate now...
Quatra: NO HEERO!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
(Heero presses button, triggering the explosion. Everything within a 5 mile radius is sucked into the resulting vaccuum)
Duo: You dumbass! You used nuclear bombs! Idiot...
(Scene changes over to local "Preventers" air base)
Noin: Oh crap... Not again...
(Zechs appears from nowhere)
Zechs: I'll stop this...
Noin: No... You're dead at the moment, so I can't send you out there
Zechs: Damn...
(Zech's body fades into the background)
Noin: Alright, so we have no weapons, because we are supposed to be at peace
Sally: Had you considered using more conventional weapons?
Noin ?
(Scene changes back to Gundams, now quite content with standing in the middle of a crater)
Trowa: Soo...
Wu Fei: *Twitches eye-brow*
Quatra: *Swings feet*
Heero: *Body twitches*
Duo: Heh! He's still alive! Oops...
(Duo's Gundam attempts to walk over, but trips and falls on Heero's body)
Quatra: *Flicks fingers*
Trowa: Um... Wanna go out for a burger or something?
Wu Fei: Sounds good...
Duo: Yea, lets get some burgers.
(No one moves)
Quatra: ...
(Suddenly, out of nowhere, Sally and Noin appear and start throwing stuff at them)
Noin: Yea!!! This one's for peace!
(Throws empty coke can at Deathscyth Hell)
Sally: You'll never defeat the heart that hopes for the future!
(Throws styrofoam cup at Altron)
Duo: Heh! That bitch is littering!
Quatra: STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!
(Another Styrofoam cup hits Sandrock in the camera lens, knocking out the electrical systems)
Quatra: NOOOOOOO!!!!
(A well timed coke can throw hits Altron in a joint, causing all the circuts to short out)
Trowa: They're strong! Too strong!
(An empty beer can is thrown at Heavyarms Kai's arm, shattering it into pieces)
Duo: RETREAT!!! RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!!
(All of the Gundams limp away from the attackers, leaving Heero behind)
Noin: Yes! Score one for peace!
Sally: That's right! With peace and happiness at our side, we are invincible!
Noin: Till all are one!
(A large group of people suddenly appear out of nowhere and start chanting)
People: Till all are one!
Heero: ...
Will peace and happiness rule? Will Heero find new ways to torture his body? Will somebody stop Noin and Sally from littering? Join us next time in Gundam Wing: The Endless Macarena, Episode 3; "Misery Loves Company"