Animal Wars
--Chapter 1--
"A Hilarious Escape"
Written by: Biosoldier“Lord Fonzi the authorities are on to us!”
“What!”
“Yes, they have found out!” says the street rat, by the look and texture of his fur you can tell that he has been out in the streets of the city for a long time.
“Hmm I see...,” replies Fonzi “have Colonel Jackrabbit gather our forces and bring them to North-Side of the junkyard for immediate extraction.”
“Yes sir!” The street rat runs at top-notch speed dodging and maneuvering around the rocks and loose garbage. He reaches the Colonel to relay the message. Just when they were about to leave they heard sirens and gasped.
“The Pigs! Red Alert, Code 4 this is no drill people! Move, move, move!” orders the Colonel at his loudest, trying to top the frantic noises of everybody else.
Having been prepared in advance, the entire platoon is ready in 30 seconds flat. They all wait at North-End for their leader, Lord Fonzi the Black Panther and his mistress Sheeva. The lord approaches, poses on the junkyard mound like a great warrior just before the battle, silence blankets his presence as they await his word.
“Welcome fellow animals,” says Fonzi with Sheeva at his side “as you know the Pigs have finally caught on to our plan to seize PETCO, I am quite disappointed due to the fact that we were at the peak of our victory. Anyway, as of now I no longer wish to be called your Lord but become your Leader, your Leader to World Domination.”
Fonzi and Sheeva descend the mound of rubbish and walk through the crowd as they provide a path for their great Leader.
“There, just beyond the junkyard is a dock. It is about a half-mile west of our current location.” Proclaims Sheeva.
“Yes, we have two large vessels loaded with weaponry, shelter, food, and vehicles. Together the vessels will bring us to an uncharted remote island. It is a good place to set up our base, it is located on no map, and no authorities patrol that area of water. Yes, it is our new home. Let’s go! Everybody to the ships on the double, let’s go!” says Fonzi in a forceful tone of voice.
All the animals scurried down to the boating docks in neatly organized lines. All animals that are carrying weaponry led the group, followed by vicious melee attacking animals, and just before Fonzi and Sheeva are the nocturnal assassins. The assassins are being carried through the daylight in cages that they sleep in; the cages are pout in a wagon to be pulled to the docks by lynxes. Together they formed a clan, a clan of disturbed an evil animals bent on global domination.
“Hey Hairy!” says the armadillo.
“Yeah Scales?” replies the northeastern red squirrel.
“Sure is a good thing the boss got us these awesome books for tips and pointers!”
“Yep, damn right it is, these How to Get and Maintain World Domination for Disturbed Animals books sure helped us out a lot, mmm hmm.” Replies the squirrel.
The sound of excitement and chitter-chatter muffles the sound of animals’ footsteps (or uh paw steps or whatever ya call it) as they continue their trip to the ships. They make their way through the junkyard and fields, and surprisingly still are not noticed as they go through the back alleys of streets. The rip of the ship hull is just in sight, there is not much left to travel. Right when they get about 30 yards away from the ships a pack of African Hyenas start laughing hysterically.
“Damn it you filthy dogs, shut your face!” orders Colonel Jackrabbit.
There is a silent pause among the now stationary hoard of animals, then suddenly... “Bwa ha ha ha ha ha, ga hee hee hee hee!” the hyenas burst out laughing once again. Sirens are heard; they heard the piercing laughs of the hyenas.
“I’m scared, I’m scared we’re all screwed!” cries the pussycat.
“Enough! Colonel gave you the chance to shut your pie holes but you refused and now you have alerted the cops! For this there is a punishment!” shouts Fonzi. Not even a single second after he finishes speaking, he whips out four daggers from surgically implanted chambers between his front claws and shoots them at the throats of the hyenas, each a perfect hit.
“That was their fate and yours can be just as bad if any of you decide not to obey orders. Now let’s move out we have but probably 2 minutes until the pigs arrive!”
They reached the docks and loaded the boats, without a single word for they are still shocked by what had just happened. The last cargo and animals are boarded.
“Cast off!” says Fonzi.
“That was close dear, the pigs were only minutes behind us look,” says Sheeva They turn around and just about somewhere around the beginning of the field the Pigs were coming through! “We barely got away.”
“Yes dear, but we did.” Says Fonzi softly. He turns his head and faces into the wind of the sea, visioning his new island home, and site for the command center of his W.H.A.P. plan. (W.H.A.P. World Handled by Animal Power). The ships ride into the sunset, which coincidently is not just a sappy ending to a chapter, but is the actual direction of the island. Hmm, fancy that.
Join me... us... them... and yourself next time in Animal Wars, Chapter 2; "Unraveling the Twisted Plan"