Weeeeeeeee!

Written by: Spotlite



“Weeeeeee!!!” The rollercoaster flew down its wooden slopes as fast as a hobo accepts a free lunch. Spotlite sat in the front car, bored out of his mind. The girl next to him screaming and laughing her head off was the first reason for him to jump out at the highest point. The other deciding factor was the people in the car behind him yelling and flailing in his flapping coat-tails. Maybe wearing his trench coat wasn’t the best idea, but it was their fault for sitting behind him. Yeah...that works.

The decision to jump for it probably wasn’t the smartest move. And jumping off at the highest peak didn’t help too much either. As he fell with bewildered eyes staring at him from his former-seat, he noticed a small mushroom cloud form about half a mile to his left near the edge of the fair, and then flying debris and people following up the small explosion. Falling in a standing position, arms crossed in a strangely solemn way with his thoughts sidetracked, he didn’t even notice the ground quickly getting bigger and more detailed. With a slight thud and a loud crack, his feet touched...something softer than packed dirt. He looked down and noticed Transmetal calmly eating popcorn, hardly even noticing the sudden shock that would have sent a sane man face first to the ground.

“So...you okay?” He asked, already knowing the answer.”

“Who said that?” Transmetal cried, coming out of his comatose state.

“Up here,” Spotlite noted, grinning and waving as the paranoid Trans turned up slowly, let out a sigh of relief, and then resumed his almost mechanical eating while staring down the clown at those drown-a-clown stands. The Battle of No Blinking still continues to this day...

Anyway, He regained his composure and headed towards the sounds of explosions, women screaming, and gnashing of teeth. As he got closer, the dust got thicker and thicker until he couldn’t quite see where he was going. The near-deafening sounds of the explosions here his guide. The journey was fairly un-painful until a flying ceramic monkey shattered against his skull at breakneck force. On closer inspection, it was only the upper right half of it; the other half obviously blown off. Possibly by a maniac of some sort. As the smoke cleared, an eerie sound could be heard. The first line in the chorus of Life Styles of the Rich and the Famous. ... ...

“Life syyyles of the rich and the faaamoouus! Life styles of the rich and the faamouuse! Life styyyles of the riiich and the faaaamoouuus! Life styyyles of the-“

“CHEESY BOY!? What are you doing??” Spotlite exclaimed, slack-jawed at Cheesy’s stupidity and annoyingnessicity...ness...and...yeah.

“Oh, just blowin’ shit up, I guess. What are YOOUU dooooing?”

“Well, I came to see what the hell was going on and what was going to happen. Now that I know what you were doing, all I need to do is analyze what is about to happen. Okay, I got it.” And with that, Spotlite grabbed Cheesy Boy by his throat and forced him into unconsciousness. With much effort, He threw Cheesy over his shoulder and started to walk away when Kain appeared through the smoke with a katana at his waist.

“Buh...damn it! I WANTED TO DO THAT!” Kain said, pointing at Spotlite with the massive Cheesy Boy slung over his back. “Wait...whose stopping me from doing it again?” Kain happily said with an eerie smirk on his face. He headed over, grabbed Cheesy Boy, and smacked him around until he regained his consciousness.

“Wha...WHAAAA!!! WE’RE UNDER ATTACK CAPTAIN! MAN UNDER PLANK! I MEAN, MAN OVERBOARD!” cried the confused man-child. Then, without warning, Kain grabbed his throat and held it until he passed out again.

“Well, my job is done!” Then he disappeared into the smoke from which he came, followed by a loud clang and him yelling “Damn it! DAMN IT TO HELL! I shall take my revenge on you, light pole!” A loud clang of metal, the sound of a large object falling, and finally the crunch of bones being crushed was soon heard thereafter.

“...owwww...”

“Uhh...well...”Spotlite jumped over the fallen body of Cheesy, and ran off aimlessly. “I saw nothing! AAHHGG! HANDS...SO...UNCLEAN!”

The End. Yeah. Just pretend you liked it.