The Time Travel Chronicles
1866; Cheesy Boy as Alfred Nobel

Written by Quantum Human

(Germany, 1866, on the banks of the Elbe river. Cheesy Boy, who has become Alfred Nobel, is playing around in his laboratory.

Cheese: Big mound of dirt, little bit of this pink stuff, some blue, a little clear...

(Titanic explosion. Cheese is covered in black soot and no longer has eyebrows.)

Cheese: Let's do it again!

Several months and quite a few explosions later...

Cheese: I just invented dynamite! This invention will revolutionize industry, and mining, and building and... wait a minute. I just invented dynamite. Dynamite. Dynamite blows things up... EXPLOSIONS! YES!!!

(Cheese begins randomly throwing lit sticks of dynamite at people, buildings, trees, squirrels, etc.)

German People: Calm down, Mr. Nobel! Please stop blowing us up!

Cheese: AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHhhaha... what? Calmmmmmmmm... calm down... calm... yes, I'm calm. I am calming down... calm. Butterflies. Stars on a cloudless night. Waves at sunrise. Yes, very calm... sitting down. Nice, comfortable grass. What's this in my hand? It looks like a stick of... dynamite. Dynamite! AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! HAHAHA!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

(Cheese lights the dynamite, puts it in his mouth, and jumps into the river. The resulting waterspout is about eighty feet high, and laced with bits of... well, you can imagine.

German People: Whew.

(The German economy never quite recovers, and within 30 years ex-Germans are selling their vital organs on the black market in England because their country was invaded by Poland. The end.)