“Nature shy”, that’s what they called him. His knowledge of the outdoors was limited to the necessity of sunscreen and the danger of 2nd degree burns. Shoved unceremoniously through metal detectors, the pasty skinned nerd found himself in the main lobby of a Middle Eastern airport.

Transmetal - “... and you just left him there?”

Kain - “I didn’t want to pay extra for the return ticket.”

Transmetal - “Alright, then how did he get back? We dragged the kid out of a high school computer class, he couldn’t possibly have much cash.”

Spotlite - “That’s when he fell into the spider hole...”

The police were none too happy to find an American in their country, and even less happy to keep him in a jail cell. Blindfolding him, they dropped him off in the middle of the desert. The raw, unadulterated heat from the sun scorched his virgin skin. With nothing left but the will to live, and the memory of Kain’s stolen chocolate chip cookies, he crawled his way to shelter. It was dark... dry... yet had a wonderful home-like feeling. He felt as if he should convert to Islam.

Spotlite - “He fell into one of Saddam’s spider holes. It had a crap load of cash, so we’re using it to fight terrorism!”

Transmetal - “By having Cheesy Boy invest it in metal detectors?”

Cheesy Boy - “If our countries’ airports want to do a better job of finding terrorists with plastic weaponry, they need more metal detectors... and frisking stations! I’m going to eat my pipe now.”

Transmetal - “We’d be better off going back in time and spending it on Enron stock!”

Kain - “Hmmm... Interesting idea, and you’re a moron. We’ll deal with that next episode.”