Rest in Peace

Written by: Wraith

It's a madness that can only be found in the mind. The suicidal thoughts and twisted ideas pump through his brain at the rate of a thousand per second. He would have taken his own life weeks ago if only he was strong enough. Death seems like a sweet dream to him., It is a dream he direly wants to become reality. A tear comes to his eye every once in a while, as he remembers the pain of his life. He used to have some pleasure to counter the pain, but now, pain is all he feels. It isn’t physical pain, but mental, emotional pain.

He sits on the bend, watching people walk by him in the hallway. He wishes that each person that walks by will whip out a gun and blow his head off. Much to his dismay, no one does. His dream is delayed yet another day. That’s just one more pain to add to the list. He keeps staring down at his notebook, scribbling down his thoughts and feelings even though he knows no one will read them. Still he sits, hoping that one day his torment will be over. One day, death will take him away. One day, he hopes.

The night before, he took a razor and glided down his wrists. He contemplated the consequences of slitting his wrists. He thought about being free after only a little while of harsh pain. Though the idea tempted him so, he still could not take his own life. He couldn’t commit suicide. Why? Though he tries to act strong, he is very weak. He couldn’t hurt himself or anyone else for that matter, not consciously anyway. The truth is, he hurts himself every day. He let his anger and sorrow take control. He loaded every chamber in this emotional gun. Even if he doesn’t pick up a weapon, he’s still committing suicide. He just doesn’t know it.

It seems like he hears a sob story of “why my teenager committed suicide” every week. He can sympathize with the teenagers. At seventeen, his life seems like a small bubble in an infinite ocean. He feels as though everyone he cares for no longer cares for him. The person he trusted most of all, turned her back on him. He sees no more reason to stick around. If you can’t trust anyone, why would you?

At the end of the day, he leaves the exact time the final bell rings. AS he walks over to the road to begin his long walk home, he neglects to notice the three-quarter ton truck barreling down the road, well over the speed limit. As he steps out into the road, the driver slams on the brakes to stop, but it isn’t enough. As the truck hits him, his torso is knocked away from the truck at thirty-five miles per hour causing his neck to snap to the side. His spinal cord is nearly torn away from his brain stem. It isn’t a quick death. It isn’t a painless death.

His name was carved in a small tombstone. It was placed in front of his grave like an everyday rock. The name on the tombstone doesn’t matter. No one he cares about will go to his funeral. No one will visit. He is in death as he was in life, alone.

What’s the moral of this story? The moral is: Don’t let yourself become this seventeen year-old high school student. Give yourself a chance to live. He gave up and began to die long before his actual death. Whatever you think of this story, please, just take this one though from it. Don’t let it be you. Don’t give up. Whatever life deals you, try to work though it. If you can’t, take a new direction. Self-pity is a poison that can kill even the strongest of all people. Help those who need it. Look back at the people around him. The most trusted person in his life, she won’t nor will anyone else, know what he was feeling because he didn’t talk to anyone. He was too afraid of rejection. This story is B.O.T.S., though the true person is still alive. Don’t be like him. Don’t become what I am. It isn’t worth it.