The Pilgrimage



Prologue:“Only Quotations: Aren’t I talented?”


Written by: Cheesy Boy

“So I’m fired?”

“It’s nothing personal, were just cutting back on the staff.”

“We are so desperate for help that we require customers to fill out applications before they can get their food.”

“Well, we are not so desperate as to keep you on the staff.”

“Understandable, now please excuse me as I go irate and hurt people.”

“What are...”

“I’m sorry, did you say something I was to busy beating your head in with this stool to listen to what you were saying. Now that I think about it, I believe that others would profit from my miraculous new therapy. Have fun bleeding boss man.”

“Hey Cheese, what’s with the stool and the more crazy then usual look in your eye? Oww, fuck that’s my shin!! What the fuck!”

“That’s odd, it doesn’t look like your shin, those tend to be not broken, maybe if I hit it a few more times.”

“Ack... HELP, HELP!!!”

“ATTENTION ALL PEOPLE NOW DEWLLING IN THIS RESTAURANT, I AM NOW OFFICALLY CRAZY, PLEASE RUN IN TERROR AS I HURT RANDOM PEOPLE! IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE ME AS I THROW THIS STOOL AT A CUSTOMER!!”

“Ouch!”

“RUN AWAY, HE’S GONE MAD!”

“Can no one stop him?”

“He shoved a can of whipped cream up my ass! It is exploding in an orgy of light whipped goodness and pain. More pain then the former.”

“HELP, HELP, I CAN’T STOP HAVING SMILLIMG AND LAUGHING AS I HURT RANDOM PEOPLE!!!”

(Alright, the only quote thing is done; it was getting kind of annoying, or for you educated types vexing.)

Kain and Cheesyboy sit eating ice cream Kain was able to take during the chaos created by how unstable Cheesyboy is. They sit on a hill overlooking the burning Friendly’s were they used to work. The firemen tried to douse the fire, but were having trouble due to all the napalm Cheese and Kain had hid in the store over the many weeks (or was it days?) they had been working their. And like wise the ambulances hauled away as many people as possible. Though they to had met their match for Cheese hit as many people as possible as many times as able, and he did quite the good job.

“You do this for any specific reason?” asked Kain.

“I don’t feel the need to explain my self to you.” replied Cheese.

“What now?”

“Want to go back to headquarters?”

“We don’t have a head quarters.”

“Want to go bother Transmetal?”

“Let’s do it.”

The drive was uneventful, for they were both partially spent from the exertion of destroying a Friendly’, and the adrenalin had worked it’s way out of their system as they ate ice cream. But they were recharged by the time they got to Transmetal’s house, but they found he was not alone.

“Boo Trans, Boo Spotlite.”

“What are you two doing here, and can I have some ice cream?” asked Transmetal.

“Hiding from the man, and no. Now give it over Spotlite, I want to play Soul Caliber 2.” replied Kain.

“Screw you, I’m playing. You can’t just barge in here and take over.” said Spotlite.

“Yes we can.” said Cheese.

“Your ego’s are huge, you just think your better then everyone, don’t you?” said Spotlite.

“Spotlite,” started Kain, “just because we think were better then you, doesn’t mean we’re wrong. Now move bitch.”

“No, come on here Trans, back me up.”

“Majority vote!” proclaimed Transmetal. Cheese, Kain, and Trans all raised there hands as a confused Spotlite watched.

“We win 3 to one.” said Cheese.

“You can’t do that.”

“We can do anything, we are the majority.” said Cheese.

“I bet you can’t walk to Japan faster then I can fly to Japan.” blurted out a desperate Spotlite.

“We accept. Let’s make the rules.” said Cheese.

“$200 to each winner” said Kain.

“Spotlite has to fly out of the nearest airport.” said Transmetal.

“Wait a sec.”

“We can only use ground and sea transportation.” said Cheese.

“And we can’t use our cars.” said Kain.

“I don’t own a car.” said Cheese.

“Hold it a sec.”

“I know, you just bum rides from me all the time.” said Kain.

“Ha, ha, yeah.”

“WAIT, I didn’t agree to this.” said Spotlite.

“Yes you did.” said Cheese. “Congratulations, we have a bet.”