Persons:
Stanley Branch “ Man(2) “
Markus Rudkus “ Man(1) “
Clarissa Seanheist “ Woman “

Setting: Man(1) sits in the second to most left bench/seat, which is off center to stage left. A desk is placed on stage right with a woman behind it.

Play begins with Man(1) reading newspaper at bench. Woman is listening to her CD player, and is bouncing her head / tapping her fingers to the music. She’s thoroughly uninterested in her work, which is piled to the side.

Man(2) enters the stage. While the other two characters have a more mature, adult like appearance, Man(2) acts more like an energetic teenager with ADD. He walks over towards the receptionist, but begins to sprint as he notices the finger tapping.

Man(2) - Hey hey hey HEY!!! Stop that!

Man(2) smacks her hand away. Woman stops zoning out, takes off headphones, and kind of stares at him.

Woman - Excuse me... Can I help you? ...

Man(2) - I’m uhhh... I’m her for uhhh...” (as he looks for paper in his pocket) “an appointment... Dammit, where is it... Yeah, well, anyway. Some guy recommended me to come here.

Woman - ... Your name? ...

Man(2) - Oh yeah... uhhh... Stanley Branch

Woman rummages through her papers for a few minutes. Man(2) is tapping his foot impatiently, or something like that. Woman finally finds a paper, and scribbles something on it.

Woman - *Yawn* Sit down over there, the doctor will be with you in another 15 minutes.

After she finishes her statement, she goes back to doing whatever random actions excite her at the moment. Man(2) goes over to sit on the seat farthest from stage right. Man(1)’s face is buried in the paper. Man(1) has an odd habit of flipping the pages of the paper every few seconds, and he begins this only after Man(2) sits down. Man(2) continues to tap his foot impatiently, but is annoyed by the other man’s paper flipping. He looks over at the “paper flipping” every time it happens, until he becomes really annoyed, ripping the paper out of the guy’s hand and throwing it behind the seat.

Man(1) - That was rather rude...

Man(2) - Really?

Man(2) smiles at he relaxes into the bench thingy, Man(1) is a little confused.

Man(1) - Well at the very least, you could introduce yourself.

Man(2) is now at ease, having got a rise out of the guys sitting next to him.

Man(1) - Fine then, my name is Markus Rudkus and I’m here for an appointment. How about you? Are you here to see a doctor?

Man(2) - Maaaaaaaaaaaaybe...

May(1) - Aha, so you’re the obnoxious sort, aren’t you?

Man(2) suddenly looks up, hurt. He may be immature, but he is sensitive to being accused like this.

Man(2) - Wait... noo... I’m uhhh... My name’s Stan.

Man(1) - Alright, so perhaps you are somewhat civilized. What are you here for?

Man(2) - Well... I... I have problems.

Man(1) begins to take interest in this conversation.

Man(1) - Do tell...

Man(2) - It’s not really my fault! It’s everybody else!

Man(1) - So you’re in denial?

Man(2) - uhhhh... Yes! Wait... No!

Man(1) - And you act before you think...

Man(2) - No, that’s not it!

Man(1) - But we have already established that you’re in denial.

At this point, the two men are getting excited and emotional. In the coming scenes Man(1) becomes more accusatory, but not excessively energetic. He will retain at least some of his composure. Man(2) needs to be whacked out, eyes wide, hyper, fling arms around / pointing.

Man(2) - I don’t wanna talk about this anymore!

Man(1) - You have something against the truth?

Man(2) - I came here to see a doctor, not to be annoyed by some guy in a stuffy suit!

Man(1) - You can’t even manage to sit down and have a simple conversation!

By this point in time, the two men are out of their seats.

Man(2) - I’m not listening to you!!!

Man(1) - You’re simply irresponsible! You refuse to deal with reality as it is!

Man(2) whips out a sharp pencil

Man(2) - DAMN YOU! SHUT UP!

Woman is silently freaking out, hides under desk

Man(1) - So you do have some motivation...

Man(2) lunges with pencils, like knife. Man(1) dodges, continues his verbal assault.

Man(1) - You’re pathetic, who taught you to fight like that?!

Man(2) - SHUT UP!!!

Man(2) makes a final desperate lunge at Man(1), but trips. He rolls over, and lies still. Man(1) comes over, rips pencil from Man(2)’s grip and throws it off stage. He kneels down besides Man(2), a moment or so of silence follows, pierced only by Man(1)’s heavy breathing.

Man(1) - So, what will you do now?

Several seconds of silence. Man(2) speaks haltingly between breathes.

Man(2) - Buy a bridge? Your the one that seems to have all the answers damn it! What do you think I should do?!

Man(1) - We can start by getting you off the floor.

Man(1) helps Man(2) up. Woman gets back up from under the desk, and tries to compose herself. Man(2) is a little tired, and acts a little shocked.

Man(2) - Thanks...

Man(1) - All I ask is that you try and take some responsibility in your life. Just accept the fact that you make your own decisions.

The two shake hands. Man(2) walks off to exit stage left. Man(1) goes over to the secretary.

Man(1) - That’ll be it for today.

Woman speaks as she shuffles and puts away papers.

Woman - I want a raise if all your other patients are like this.

Man(1) - Word.

Man(1) and Woman exit stage left.