Maybe...

Written by: Spotlite

Maybe it was all that sake I drank. Maybe it was the mass amounts of heroin pumping through my already swiss cheesed brain. Maybe I was just being an asshole. Either way, I must have been doing something incredibly stupid to have ended up being pushed off a three-story-high rock wall hanging above hot sands by a rather large man with no shirt on.

Maybe looking death strait in the face while falling to a most certain demise isn’t something that hasn’t happened before, but it wasn’t something that I quite held as a pleasure either. As the end of the world rushed up towards my weathered shoes, I felt release. Release from all my earthly ties. Sure, I’d be leaving a wonderful girl behind and a lot of friends, but when you can literally know when, where, how, and why you’re going to die, it just kinda...sucks all the flavor out of the remaining seconds of existence. Like a supermodel on a milkshake. Sorry. I’m not feeling too creative at this moment in time. One of the few moments I have left. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

Maybe I was thinking too hard as my feet sunk into the quickly dividing sands, the sands of my temporary burial ground. I tried not to think about the pain of my femur bones telescoping up into my hips as much as I thought about why that guy up there had pushed me off. I could now know from experience that time moves at a painfully slow crawl as your life force is pushed out of your body, so I had more than enough time to finish any and all thoughts I was going to have over then next few days in this last short frame of my life. Was I acting a little TOO much like the cokehead I was? Maybe I shouldn’t have slapped his bald head like a bongo drum. Maybe I shouldn’t have been standing so close to the edge of the rock face as the bald man turned red with rage. Maybe...

Maybe time would finally decide to wake its slow ass up and try to speed up this grueling death so I could just rest in peace...or pieces, depending on how hard the sand decided to pack itself together under my weight. Yup. There is goes. Ow.

Maybe waking up in a hospital bed with fifteen tubes running through me should have been the one sign that I had somehow survived that fall. Somehow. I’ve survived worse. Like that time I was on my pogo stick and I accidentally bounced into a pit of starved, abused loins...all that had a bad case of diarrhea. God, that one was bad. Or that other time I was in the bank when two robbers decided to hold it up and one of them stabbed me in the face with lasers. I can still feel the tingle of amplified light across my cheek. Well, whatever reason God decided to let me to live through THIS one, it probably won’t stop me from doing something stupid again that will almost get me killed. Ahh, it’s good to be me. No where’s my disgusting hospital food? I’M HUNGRY! Sake sure does dehydrate a man, I tell ya what. Oh, right...The End.