Huh? Where?
Written by: Biosoldier
Do monkeys marry? I wonder if they do, as a matter of fact, I wonder about a lot of things. Why do they always name ninja groups after animals? Enough with the questions, I gotta get outta here... The Lucky Charms Guy is after me! Gotta.. bike... faster, wait! Damn it, this is an exercise machine!
I got in a shopping cart and hit mach III! I stopped to see if he was ookay, it seemed as though he was fine. So I continued on only to try and shake the F-16s being piloted by disgruntled Oompa Loompas, who are being tailed by Willy Wonka. Apparently they rebelled and bombed his chocolate factory. Turbulence ahead, aaaghhhh raining ducks! What the, that damn hobo just stomped on a duck and roasted it in his cardboard bucket home while singing "Eye of the Tiger".
I took a quick pit stop at the local arcade and rip one of those Whack-a-Mole-Hammers off one of the machines. I hide behind a periodcal vendor and wait for the stampede of Oompa Loompas. Ha ha! I take them out one by one; whew, they're all gone and look! One of them left behind a root beer. Oh yeah, bonus points!
Yeah, I earn 6538 experience points and gain a power level! I use these epx. points to go Super Saiyen III. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! My power level is increased a bagillion times its normal level! I fly to the island in the sky named "Island in the Sky of Lost Magical Weapons". I find and pull a ridiculously large sword out of crystallized honey [Mmmmm... Honey]. I then raised the sword over my head [Climatic music begins. Shing, sparkle, sparkle], then I fall over backwards. I repeat the process, keeping in mind not to turn off my Super Saiyan III powers when doing this. As I gracefully descend back down to earth, I trip on a cloud and land on my face! Ouch, BASKET (basket = randomly censored word). I limp over to the homeless shelter and power down so as not to be on Super Saiyen III and waste my energy. There I slice bread with my ridiculously large sword, easy as a brick through play-dough... not the hard crusty stuff but the soft kind. When I finished my community service I take a cab over to my Meme for some freshly baked banana bread muffins... (Mmmm... muffins). As soon as I pay the Arabian cab driver named Zen, I realize that I could have flown! I am a Super Saiyen darnit! Grrr! Anyway, I go inside and chow down. Damn, those are good banana bread muffins!
I say good-bye to my grandparents, go Super Saiyen III and jet outta there. I visit the local hardware to purchase some seed, 25 dollars a bag! This is an outrage; I pay the bastard the 50 dollars and leave through the entrance just to re-enter through the exit. Only to realize there is no escape! Wait, why the fuck is the store clerk twitching? A droid, I open an entrance to a portal through the aqua colored penguin tatto on his forehead. Swish, I go through the portal! The seed fell out of the bag while in the portal, and started growing into giant nitroglycerine plants. Just as I see the light at the end of the hallway, the plants begin to explode thus closing the portal behind me! Thump! I am thrown against the wall. I get outta Super Saiyen III so as not to cause more mass destruction... unintenionally.
I end up in a small cubicle, urgh the stuffy air is polluting my lungs, I gotta get out of this steakhouse. After purchasing a top sirloin steak I exit to the filthy streets of downtown Burlington. The streets are crowded, damn leaf peepers! I throw the steak into the street. Everrbody dives for the goods, leaving me an open path of travel. I hotwire a bicycle and get the hell out of there. I think to myself, if only all my days were this easy... Right my little red salmon? Together, we are too much of a load for the bike so I toss the red salmon. [SMACK!] I hit the brakes. I knocked out an Oompa Loompa, I thought I got 'em all. Ah well, I hop back on the bike and ride away. As I arrive at the house the family starts hitting me voraciously, what the fuck?! Oops, wrong house. I leave and enter my house right next door. I lay down on the couch to rest. Boy I am tired. It's hard to stalk a badger...