Elk's First Car Ride

Once upon a time
In a galaxy far, far away
A slightly deranged Elk
Took his first car ride


Elk was in the parking lot
A full one at that
Which stood perpendicular to Babbages
Where he just had a tasty snack


He enjoyed their employee's flesh
He ate it without abandon
Then he stole their X BOX games
Breaking display cases at random


But when confronted with the Manager
He packed his loot and ran
For the Manager had a taser
Or rather, one for each hand


He took a break, however,
At the local Dream Machine arcade
He kicked ass at the Sega games
Until some nerds ran him away


And thus, he found himself
In the Babbage's parking lot
He found someone's new Viper
And attempted to pick the lock


Opening the door, he thought to himself
"The seats will have to go"
He threw them outside of the car
And onto the pedestrians below


Picking the ignition was the easy part
It was much easier done than said
He shifted into drive
But the engine decided to play dead


Cursing and squaking
That was all Elk could do
Until he kicked the dash board
At which the engine rang anew


He slammed that bitch into 5th gear
As he drove down the highway
He broke every speed law imaginable
Waving to the cops; "Bye Bye"


Angered by his insolence
A line of Officers formed on his tail
"The Fuzz'll never catch me"
"They can't put me in jail"


Pulling out his machine-gun
And several semi-automatics
He took aim and fired
Effectively wreaking havok


The bullet's percision
Caught the front Officer's attention
By putting some holes in his window
And other various inflections


The Officer's car
It swerved to the right
Causing a Police traffic jam
Which lasted all night


Elk continued on
Through stop signs and Moose
He came to a halt
When the tires came loose


He ran from the car
Making sure the dynamite was set
He ran for cover
Hiding just behind the fence


The car exploded
Elk walked away
There was no evidence for the cops
No witnesses anyway


The message I give 
To all you readers
Don't feed animals
Mountain Dew 2-Liters

Disclaimer: Please understand that I have nothing against Babbage's employees. Really, it was the Elk that ate them. Not me!

Written by Transmetal