First off, any game that lets you pit pink puffball slash marshmallow thing Kirby against the ultimate Nintendo badass of all time, Bowser, can't be all bad. In fact, SSB:M comes closer to all good. While somewhat limited at first, as one plays the game and earns the extra characters etc. the game becomes the sort of party beating-fest previously reserved for those giant blow-up sumo wrestling arenas they have at county fairs.

Let's begin with characters. We have the usual Nintendo cadre rounding out the more balanced characters - Mario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi. Slightly more offbeat characters introduce some interesting play styles, like the lumbering power of Bowser and Ganondorf or the high-flying versatility of strange pink aliens Kirby and Jigglypuff. Pikachu's electrical powers give it a decent range and strength, especially consdering that it's a knee-high yellow rat. Pichu is not for the defensively minded - ninety percent of its attacks damage it as well as the opponent, a fact which is offset by its impressive amperage. Zelda is a good choice for the indecisive, combining a slow but powerful magical character (Zelda) with a ninja-quick... well... ninja, I guess (Sheik). Captain Falcon is incredibly bloody fast, and fun to jump around with. Dr. Mario is actually Mario in a funny suit. Donkey Kong is a big monkey with a tie. They don't do much, although the monkey can punch people fairly well. The Ice Climbers are fairly pointless, except that there are two of them and you can NEVER REMEMBER WHICH OF THE BLOODY LITTLE THINGS YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO KILL, since only one of them counts as the player. Samus Aran returns with all of her good ol' standby weapons, plus some handy little heat-seeking missiles. Fox McCloud and Falco Lombardi are essentially the same character, except that Falco's blaster attack does more damage, except that he's much slower than Fox, so in other words Fox is an excellent character and Falco would be better off scratching feed on a farm. Mr. Game and Watch is only funny because he beeps and throws flapjacks. Link is a decent character, balanced as usual, except that he has the advantage of multiple long-range attacks - sword for greater reach in normal attacks, plus bombs, flame arrows, boomerangs, and the Hookshot. Good for a sniper, but nowhere near as good as EarthBound little-guy-in-a-red-cap Ness. The psychic wunderkid deals tons of damage, especially when sniping with the player-guided PK Thunder. Mewtwo, the last Pokemon and other psychic fighter, isn't a bad choice either. While a bit slow and fairly light, he has multiple psychic attacks that do quite a bit of damage. Then there's Young Link, who doesn't matter because he's Link, just smaller. Have you noticed that there are a lot of characters that are basically the SAME? It's kind of annoying, but here's the list:

• Mario -> Luigi, Dr. Mario
• Samus Aran -> Mewtwo
• Captain Falcon -> Ganondorf (much slower, though)
• Pikachu -> Pichu
• Link -> Young Link
• Marth -> Roy (yes, I know I haven't mentioned them yet, I'm getting there)

Finally, though, there are the two Fire Emblem characters, Marth and Roy. They're brothers, and they have the same moves, but Roy is a little more powerful and a little less agile. Roy's a decent player, and has an attack that takes approximately six days to charge, but is essentially (barring a badly placed wall) a guaranteed knockout. However, Marth gets his own section of this review.

Simply put, Marth is the Angel of Death. Especially since he has a black uniform and a white uniform, which make him look like Charon and Saint Michael, respectively. Let's run down the list of why Marth rocks.

- He wears gold and silver inlaid armor and a cape.  Badass.  (Especially in white.)
- He carries a sword, which effectively doubles the range of his normal attacks.  Badass again.
- He's one of only two characters to have a true counterattack move - the other being Roy - which has been known on many an occasion to outsmart a Fox who just wasn't clever enough to figure out not to use that damn shadow-dash move against a guy with a sword.  Stupid Fox.  Ass-kicking Marth.
- One of his special attacks is a four-stroke sword combo, which is entirely capable of holding three enemy players at bay - I've proven this.  Still badass.
- He taunts people in Japanese.  How much more badass can you get?

Having made my point about Marth, let's go on to the game.

SSB:M, while technically a two-dimensional game, renders the characters and levels in full 3D with options like Camera Mode to change viewpoints, circle around characters, etc. The Gamecube's video processors get a decent workout with all the explosions and such going on. Now, I'll grant you that it's not the Matrix. It's not meant to be. The artwork is deliberately cartoonish for the most part. It's Nintendo, dammit; what do you expect? However, even for those of you who don't apreciate that sort of bubbly little characterization, there's plenty to see in Hyrule Castle and on Big Blue. Marth, Roy, Captain Falcon, Samus Aran, and Ganondorf are marked exceptions to the Saturday-morning set. Even Pikachu's Thunder is done lovingly and intricately, to produce the full effect of a small rodent toasting the living flesh off of your bones. On a scale of 0 (Pong) to 10 (Max Payne), SSB:M earns an 8.5.

Musically, the game is an eclectic mix of Nintendo classics and original tunes. Most of the background is that of the games from which the characters are taken - your old favorites by Shogo Sakai, Jun Ishikawa, and the like. Nintendo released a companion CD to the game for readers of their magazine, Nintendo Power, entitled Smashing... Live! The disc contains over a dozen tracks of the music from SSB:M, both the original and the older, performed by the New Japan Philharmonic Orchestra. Totally unholy. So amazing, in fact, that I'm taking it upon myself to rearrange several of the tracks for concert band, but that's another story altogether. As for the effects, they're well-made and true to the previous games. Fox McCloud still sounds like Fox McCloud, Samus Aran still just beeps, and Pikachu still screams "PIKA!!!" in that damn high-pitched rat-whine whenever it does ANYTHING, which can get kind of annoying, yet is exactly what a Pikachu does. On a scale of 0 (Michael Jackson's Moonwalker) to 10 (Final Fantasy VII), SSB:M gets a 9.5.

The game itself is a somewhat unconventional melee fighting game. While there is an Adventure Mode, the game hinges on the basic multiplayer theory; two to four characters are placed on a level that's basically a platform in space, so that characters can be knocked off the edge and fall to their death. Excepting the two Mushroom Kingdom levels, that's how it goes. (You can also be launched into space or knocked out sideways, they're not picky.) A character's health bar starts at 0% and goes up with every hit. There's no death point - although the counter stops at 999% - but your character flies farther and farther every time they get hurt. By the time you hit 300%, it's like playing pinball; the one time I was bored enough to sit and get a character up to 999% by repeatedly wailing them into a wall, the final wimpy-ass punch bore a striking resemblance to hitting a golf ball with a Peacemaker. Items can pop up once in a while if you like, and they run the gamut from the ever-annoying Motion Detector Bomb and Red Shell to the handy-dandy Home Run Bat (eat this, Jeter), Beam Sword (can you say Jedi Kirby?), and Bob-omb (FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!). The game play holds true to the beautifully original method concocted in the first SSB title, while adding enough twists to make the transition to the next platform worthwhile. On a scale of 0 (Pitfall) to 10 (Chrono Trigger), SSB:M merits a solid 9.

The problem with games of this sort; how do you make the characters do all these funky little moves without confusing the living hell out of the player? It's difficult. That being said, Nintendo succeeds admirably in doing so. After a few minutes of total disorientation - while getting your ass handed to you by a friend, no doubt - the control system becomes very comfortable. Basic idea: the A and B (attack and special) buttons perform different techniques depending on which direction the Control Stick is being pressed in. There are also the game's signature "smash" attacks, wherein you "smash" the Control Stick in a certain direction while pressing the attack button. New feature in SSB:M: the smash attacks will now "charge" if you hold the attack button, up to a maximum of about three seconds. The real trick of the game is mastering the use of the shield. The shield now has its own button - Z - though it still activates after an L or R grab. The shield itself isn't too useful, since it quickly depletes, but the shield-roll is INVALUABLE and must be mastered. SSB:M also includes a dodge along with the rolls, so that the character can avoid attacks without moving. On a scale of 0 (any football game ever) to 10 (Combat), SSB:M takes home a 7.5.

The game's beyond solid, and easily one of the best yet created for the new generation of consoles. Infinite replay value, as long as you have someone to play it with. Single-player mode - including Adventure, Classic, and the Event matchups - can get old. Slo-Mo mode is definitely worth a try, since it makes everything look that much cooler (especially Angel Marth kicking your ass). Just don't let any of those damn Japanese epileptic kids near it.

+ good combination of graphics, sound, and control

+ the best Nintendo characters, all in one pack!

+ Pikachu vs. Bowser - must I say more?

+ the Mario cast having lightsabre (excuse me, Beam Sword) duels

+ best party game on Nintendo - can't speak for other systems, haven't played enough of them

- where the hell did these Ice Climbers come from? didn't Nintendo realize the first time around that NOBODY CARES?

- and don't get me started on that damn Master Hand

- single player mode mediocre

Overall (not an average): 9/10
If you own a Gamecube, and haven't bought SSB:M, you have thirty days from the period I find out about you until I come to your home and murder you in your sle... er... look, just buy the damn game.