What's the point of this little editorial? For Transmetal to vent out all those random story ideas into one place, cause he has alot of them, he just doesn't go through and publish them half the time. So here are the semi - monthly up-to-date collections of Transmetal's sketchy writings.


Setting - Two friends sitting at a bus stop

Friend 1 - So, I was at the bowling alley the other day.

Friend 2 - ...

Friend 1 - What's your problem?

Friend 2 - Bowling? Have you suddenly aged 40 years and entered your midlife crisis?!

Friend 1 - Hey, Bowlings actually a lot of fun!

Friend 2 - Only if you're old.

Friend 1 - Was that our bus that just passed by?

Friend 2 - Probably, but about this Bowling thing...

Friend 1 - I really needed to be on that bus!

Friend 2 - You need to be on that bus about as much as you need to go bowling, so shut up.

Friend 1 - Awwwwww...


"Quite doing that before I punch someone!"

His screams echo throughout the cafeteria, striking terror into the hearts of janitors nation wide. Their soap laden mops wet themselves in fear, giving birth to a new form of life. This new life, born and bred in fear, has no hope. Their bacteria based existance endows them with an incredibly rapid rate of evolution, but it will only bring about their downfall.

"Damn you! It's five fours, not four fives!"

This revelation travels at nearly the speed of light. As this revelation's density is about as deep as this story, it forces itself towards the door. Towards the outer world. Towards freedom. It takes no prisoners. It kills the first person to enter it's path. It kills the second. Having nothing else to do the rest of the day, it kills a third. It then takes leave of this pathetic dimension, entering another, for it's rampage must continue.


The teacher is suddenly endowed with earth shattering sexiness, with which he intends to smite the Republic of China. Three months and 20 vodka-martinis later, her passport is lost in a disturbing bathroom accident.

"You dumbass, we're playing BS, not Rummy!"

This gives God pause, for he has yet to witness such stupidity in any situation. His interest is so much, that he will prolong the United State's effort to invade Iraq, because you can't pay for entertainment like that. And that, my friend, is your average study hall with the staff of Domain Kain


The monkeys were everywhere.

I didn't dare breathe, for fear that they would hear me.

I did not want that.

I did not want to be found.

I did not want to die.

But, they will find me.

I cannot hide forever.

They would come.

They would lift me out of this trash can, with a large crane.

Yes, a large, pink crane.


Two heads peeked up from the shubbery. If it wasn't for the aroma of bug repellent, or for the large backpacks slung over their shoulders, or for their brightly colored red jackets, you wouldn't have even noticed them. Their eyes travel back and forth, scanning the landscape in front of them. Their eyes jitter, their breathing rapidly accelerates and decelerates with every noise they hear. After a long moment of silence, the shorter, red haired one turns to the other.

"I think we lost him..."

Foe Master-Plex and Transmetal had thought this would be an ordinary day. They had looked forward to this for weeks, the chance to go backpacking in the mountains. For, it was in their blood to visit the great outdoors; it was their destiny to breathe of the fresh mountain air, to drink bacteria infested water, and to deface National Park and Recreation property. It was the ideal weekend to do this too, as the foiliage was in full bloom. This was the great attractions this time of year, the very reason they came here too. But it was also their greatest fear.

"Is it possible that we are taking this a little too seriously? What reason would he... er... it have to hurt us?"

Transmetal turns towards the Foe Master-Plex, staring at him as if he had just grown a french toast stick on the top of his nose.

"You fool! Have you never heard of the one they call the Red Leaf of Death?! His victims number in the thousands. He preys upon the innocent, they're bodies lie on the ground like happy rugs!!! Feel the fear!!! Taste fear!!! SMELL IT!!!"

At this, Transmetal takes a leaf up to it, and starts snorting it.