Community (aka t eh Email Box) (circa 2003)
Welcome to the E-mail box section. The general idea of this section is that the reader sends us questions/comments/whatever about the site or anything videogame/anime/whatever related. We will then, in turn, answer. But this can only work if all of you out there send us some e-mail! Bring 'em on!
Color Key
Transmetal
Kain
Shizuka
Hail Sir Kain,
I like your site,
That is all,
Love, er, Hate
-Dan Flanders
Dan,
Hey, we got an email that wasn't hate mail! It's certainly been a while. Mysteriously though, Kain didn't want to respond to this letter. Why? He's been busy on a new story, one that will quite possibly increase the inflow of hate mail two fold. So we'll enjoy the praise while it lasts, which won't be long.
-Transmetal
Kain and Transmetal,
My name is Steve. I hail from a little town in North Dakota. I found your site somewhere on the net, actually it was by accident, but I think its really funny. I also think its hilarious that people keep trying to pick you guys up on the net. That's hilarious. I guess girls really do like the bad boy, except that doesn't explain Transmetal. what a woos. Hey, did you guys actually try and join the fire department? If you did, please quit. You guys scare me enough with all of your antics. I think you guys are like Yin and Yang. Kain is the evil and Transmetal is the good. I guess my point is: Could you give me a few pointers on how to get the ladies?
-Steve
Steve,
I saved this one for last because I, too, was once having "Trouble With The Ladies(TM)." You see, I'm originally from North Dakota, too, and I know that around there, "ND" doesn't really stand for "North Dakota," but rather, "No Dicks." That's when I came to where I am now and met the "In Crowd(TM)" folks. They were obviously very scientifically advanced, so I told them about my problem. Luckily enough, they were able to replace my old utensil with a new, up-to-date one. It's much longer than yours (a full six inches!) and wider, thicker in every way! You, too, can have this wonderful service, if you only move here and begin to pay Kain a tithe. Of course, you'll have to become one of his peasants and enter into indentured servitude, but that's a small price to pay for a big tool!
On the other hand, if you feel like that's too much of a commitment for you, I've compiled a list of pick-up lines that always help me get some booty to tap.
"Hey, I've got a Dodge 4x4 Hemi out in the parking lot!"
"I like your boobs."
"Those sure are some tight pants! Think you've got a little more room in them for me?"
"Want to go out and get a donut?"
"I have a company credit card with no limit!"
"Is that your bankroll, or are you just happy to see me?" Oops, how'd THAT get on the list?
Anyway. Those lines have always served me well in my hunt for Booty. If you ever find it, let us here at Domain Kain know so that we can invite you over for some champagne. By the way, I don't suggest that you search for the elusive Booty in North Dakota. Seeing as I'm from there, I know that the size of the asses of girls there are in direct proportion to the sizes of the manhoods. In other words, damn, man! Cellulite is BAD for you!
-Shizuka
I appreciate the vote of confidence in the "good" area... but what the heck is a "woos"?
-Transmetal
Dear Hate,
I'm sorry, your name is Kain, not Hate, but it might as well be. You need a good woman in your life. When you find one you desire more than you want to live, I hope she kicks dirt in your face. You need to wake up and see that the universe doesn't revolve around you. I hope you realize this soon and don't live your life this way forever. I don't like the thought of people being alone all their lives. I just hope you wake up soon.
-(Name withheld because I felt like it)
Well, Billy-Bob,
You're as funny as hell. The very idea of a woman tall, strong, and agile enough to kick dirt into
Kain's eyes nearly brings me to tears. What does bring me to tears is the thought of Kain just taking it. Hoo-hoo-hoo, that's a good one. Let me tell you what - YOU need to wake up and see that the universe DOES revolve around Kain. Why? Because Kain is Kain is Kain, so live with it. Kain's obviously not alone, either, he has people to socialize with. I think that you're a pathetic wretch who obviously is wishing your own horrible fate onto our noble (heheh, ahem) soon-to-be absolute dictator. Women are strategically disadvantageous. "Hate" is a
stupid nickname. Can't you come up with something more interesting to call Our Noble Leader? Maybe "PigStaker." Oops, that one's taken, isn't it? Damn. Well, maybe next time you finish whining to your wife for sex, you can spend your long, lonely night thinking of interesting names to call him.
Okay, drop the fourth wall for a moment - you really need to realize that there's no such person as "Kain." There is a real person who goes under the pseudonym of "Kain" when he posts to this website. Kain, the character, is an exaggeration of some of that person's characteristics. If Kain really existed, and had existed for as long as this site has existed, he would already have absolute control of the entire planet and would have put whining, demanding whores like you to death.
-Shizuka
What the hell is wrong with you? Is there something bad in you ticker? You need to go to the gospel and renounce all the sins you've done. Wipe your slate clean and get forgiveness from the almighty. You and your brother. For that matter, that little slut of a temtress InuHotty should too. All of you are headed to hell in a hand basket.
-Lifeofheart
Dear LifeofHeart,
I'm sure nothing is wrong with Kain's ticker. If there was something wrong with Kain's ticker, I'm pretty sure that I'd see him fall over dead from a heart attack. On the other hand, I am of the opinion that something's wrong with Kain's brain. But, what can you do, right? Intense megalomania won't be a problem after he takes over the world and exterminates people like you. Ah, exterminating people like you...
What? You're still here? Damn. I was dreaming about killing you. I, personally, assume that I speak for Kain when I say that by the time this is all over, this so-called 'almighty' (note the lowercase letter is intentional here, whereas in your letter it was a sign of stupidity and a lack of comprehension) will be the one begging Kain for forgiveness. Speaking of begging for forgiveness, you should beg us for forgiveness for your utter stupidity. Once I finish my current Infernal Machine, I'll wipe your mind clean like this slate you speak of and properly indoctrinate you.
Obviously, you're too mentally weak to be able to make your own decisions, so you have to get input from your God. You take the advice and ignore the man behind the curtain - wake the hell up, stupid! By the way, do you even KNOW what a slate IS? I do. I'm just wondering if you're grasping at cliches. I mean, come on, look at the damn site. Does it look like a hand basket to you?
In conclusion, you have no business saying what Kain can or can't do. Unless, of course, you really do want to die a severe and painful death. In that case, go ahead.
-Shizuka
Kain, for some odd reason, you must think that my religion is a play thing. You constantly make a mockery of my faith. I demand that you stop all hate against Catholicism. If you don't, I'll boycott your site. It isn't bad enough that I heard from a friend that you were originally going to call you brother Able, you have to have a staff member write those Real History stories that blasphemes against my faith. You, Kain, are a monster who doesn't care about anyone but yourself.
-stakeman
Dearest Steakboy,
Apparently you haven't taken a good look at Catholicism anytime recently. Here's an idea, RoastbeefMan - how about you get all the Catholics in the world to stop kicking the shit out of people that they dislike because they think that they don't have any rights just because they don't believe in a book of propaganda written thousands of years ago for the sole purpose of controlling the masses! Now, then, on a side note, I am of the opinion that anyone who can't get a good laugh out of things obviously feels like they have something to prove. Consider your nickname, ILikePorkMan. Are you aware that the Old Testament specifically forbids the consumption of the meat of pigs?
-Shizuka
Hi. I am a first time reader of your site. I think you can tell by my address that I love InuYasha. It is my favorite show. I call myself InuHotty because I have grey hair and a gorgeous body (D-cups). I know what you're thinking. "An old lady is trying to seduce us." Well, I'm nineteen and I'm not trying to seduce you. I just like to talk about myself. But I guess I didn't e-mail you to talk about myself :'( I wanted to tell you that I think your site is very cute and if you got the right connections, you could make it big. If you keep up the good work I'll definitely tell all of my friends about you. I actually found the site by sesarching for something with short stories. Your site was one of the last ones listed, but it's more entertaining than a lot of other sites. I especially like the fact that I can associate some of your characters with InuYasha characters. True some of the connections are vague at best but hear me out. First (and probably most obvious) is Kain and Naraku. The big villains in the site/show. Ooh, you should have pictures of yourselves on the site. I hope Kain actually looks like Naraku (Naraku is SO CUTE!! ;-)) Chess Boy is like Shippu...nothing but comedy. Biosoldier is like those peasents that get killed. Transmetal is like...um...Miroku? I dunno, that "your mom" joke made him sound kinda close to a somewhat perverted person...I guess...(I did say some of the connections were vague at best). Oh well...I 've written a lot so far so I will end with a last plea...PLEASE PUT A PIC OF INUYASHA MIROKU AND NARAKU ON THE SITE....PLEASE?
-InuHotty458
I'm glad to hear that you like our little site here. We put our pride in our work. That said, this isn't our work. We still take pride in this though. I love my writings even when they're not good. Please, tell your friends about us. We could use the support. We all appreciate your good words.
About you comparisons of us and InuYasha. You hit the target. I am very much like Naraku. We are both evil, tyrannical demons...well, not so much the demon part. Cheesy Boy is basically a comedic writer. Biosoldier is cannonfodder. Transmetal is not a pervert however. He is just odd. No one here besides Cheese is a pervert. Not that we don't enjoy a night out with a beautiful woman. We do. Very much so. At least I do, anyway. But that aside, you wants pics? I'll see what I can do.
Now, about your gorgeous body and D-cups...
-Kain
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