How I Will Die
A Halloween Special
Written by:
The monkeys were everywhere.
I didn't dare breathe, for fear that they would hear me.
I did not want that.
I did not want to be found.
I did not want to die.
But, they will find me.
I cannot hide forever.
They would come.
They would lift me out of this trash can, with a large crane.
Yes, a large, pink crane.
And from this crane, I would be taken to their facilities.
What sort of facilities are they?
Well, there are more large pink cranes... of death...
The pink cranes are evil, they are the true masters.
The cranes want nothing more than to see my pain.
They will feast on my flesh.
But the cranes only feast on holidays, so I'll have to wait in a room.
A room of doom, and other really "evil" nouns.
Unspeakable acts occur in this room.
In this room, there are more monkeys.
These monkeys have toture devices.
They will force you to play the Virtual Boy, for days on end.
And when you have all but been killed, they will present you with yet one last obstacle...
You will be forced to watch Star Wars: Episode 1 fifteen times over
Oh yea... Then the pink cranes will eat you."