I Yell!
Dear Flexitarians
Written by: CheesyBoy
Dear Flexitarians,
I, Cheesyboy, hate you. And not the fun kind of hate, like how one loves to hate the halftime show at the super bowl. Hate like I would not shed a tear to see you all drop dead.
I’m usually not very fond of generalizations, but I have found the exception to my policy on them. If you believe you’re self to be, or actively tell people you are a flexitarian, then you have just shown you complete ineptitude to the whole world, and deserve what ever punishment comes your way.
Some of you who are reading this might not be flexitarians, or even know what one is (despite that this is a letter JUST for them, but I will excuse your curious nature). Flexitarians are this, quote: “People who are vegetarian, but sometimes eat meat.”
What the fuck?
Last time I checked, being vegetarian means you NEVER eat meat. And if you say that it is why they have there own word, then I will say to you that we already had a word to describe such people. Omnivores.
I respect vegetarians very much, it takes will power to overcome ones natural urges. I tried to be vegetarian for a while (about 6 months) but decided that it wasn’t for me. I decided that I didn’t like the life style. Because that is what it is, a life style, a belief, a sacrifice.
There are many reasons people become vegetarians, but the main reason is they believe that killing animals is wrong, hence they don’t eat meat. Flexitarians don’t eat meat all the time because apparently killing animals is bad only some of the time.
What if a man punched you, then a week goes by, and then he punches you again. Now a whole week went by were he didn’t punch you, but he sure as hell wasn’t a pacifist. Sure, he could become one then change his mind, but let’s assume his personality didn’t change over the whole period. This is an aggressive person, just because he wasn’t punching you all the time, didn’t change that.
Flexitarians are stupid for believing that theirs is a new way of life. The majority of the people in the world have lived like this, except with out the stupid new title and feeling of superiority.
But flexitarian’s system of ideas and belief show that as long as you don’t do something constantly, it’s okay. With that said, one might be able to conceder a carnivore a flexitarian. How? Simple, he’s a flexitarian because he’s got to sleep sometime, and during that time he’s not eating meat, so he only eats meat sometimes! Yay, loop holes!
Though I think I figured out what kind of person came up with this crap. Something along these lines happened.
Being vegetarian is “in” but meat is tasty. Somebody wanted to get in on the humanitarian craze, while killing as many animals as possible. Hence the idea of “a vegetarian that eats meat.”
Unfortunately that’s an oxymoron. But not if it had a hip name. Thus the flexitarian was born. And because the requirement for being a flexitarian was not having an IV of pork flowing into your left arm, nearly everyone became one overnight!
Now, let put this as bluntly as possible. The question to whether or not you eat meat is yes, or no. Being vegetarian is a lifestyle, a commitment. Being a vegetarian is not something that changes based on your MOOD!
Flexitarians are want-a-bees. They are the worst kind too, the popular kind. We can not reward people for being idiots. I get angry when people contradict them selves in a single sentence, but now they are doing that in a single word.
If you are a flexitarian, stop. Don’t think about it, because that is obviously a week point for you, just stop. If you are not a flexitarian, slap a flexitarian and tell them that they’re omnivores and should shut their dirty little mouths.
Cheesyboy