Stage 5:
The Word of B.O.O.


Written by: Transmetal

Dawn's ass crack appeared on the horizon, slowly revealing palm trees and sandy beaches. Just as every morning, our intrepid trio wakes to Cheesy Boy's cries.

"Wiiiiiiiillllllllllssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonn!!"

"Nooo... why..."

Kain resorted to throwing a rock, but fell back asleep mid throw.

"Cheese, it was a volley ball. A freaking volley ball!"

"No! It was more than just a volleyball... it was... MY volley ball. The only thing seperating my paper thin character between gripping to reality and falling into insanity!"

"Ok, truth be told... He didn't run away"

"He... he didn't?"

"No... uhh... Kain popped him."

Cheese's eyes flame from a boiling anger within, a anger fueled by having gone for days without a single Dr.Pepper. Remote and habitantless islands don't have vending machines, as was discovered to his dismay. As Cheese walks towards Kain's inert body, Transmetal slowly pulls a volley ball with a face permanent-marked upon its face.

"Now it is just you and I, my love. You and I, we can run away, both of us, together..."

Many miles away, Spotlite had found himself deported, and possessing a new-found lack of respect for other languages as well as airliner security.

"Now, we have two possiblities here. I take the plane and you die, or I take the plane. Answer me twitching either the left or right foot."

At his feet lay a man, tied to a light pole with his face ductaped. The man shook his right foot.

"I'm actually just messing with you, I don't have any weapons. I won't be returning the plane by the way."

Spotlite mused to himself whether or not the man was actually the pilot. Probably not, but it was fun never the less. He also mused as to whether the National Guard unit would notice a missing F16, but stowed those thoughts into the back of his mind. He had a destination in mind, and planned to be eating sushi there within a day.

Back on the island, we find Transmetal at the top of a tree, with Kain and Cheesy at the bottom.

"NOooooooo! I'll never give him back. I've found true love, and I won't let it be stolen!

Cheesy was sitting down sobbing, while Kain chopped away at the tree with his bamboo axe.

"I'm seriously going to thrash you for making me fashion an axe out of bamboo. There's not even fucking bamboo on this island!"

"I love you Wilson!"

"Cheesy, why not help me instead of sitting there sobbing?"

*sniff* "It hurts..." *sniff*

"Guys, we seriously need to get going to japan. The whole pirate thing took about 5 hours more than I would have liked."

"But Kain, we were only there for..."

"You! Shutup."

Kain hits the tree with the bamboo axe, and gleefully watches as Transmetal falls to the ground.

"Alright guys, I'm sick of this crap with Wilson. As you can see, Wilson is a volley ball."

Kain drives his sword thru the ball.

"And I need your guys help to get the hell off this island. So to speed up this process I'm a) putting Cheese to sleep, b) forcefeed Transmetal Dr.Pepper C) fashion a sword from Coconut."

True to his word, he shot a tranquelizer dart at cheese, duct taped a Dr.Pepper to Transmetal's face, and went about collecting coconuts. We'll take this moment to remind the reader that all three of our characters posses certain inanate and as of yet not tottaly defined powers. Kain simply makes swords out of random material at this point, Cheese is able to speak in tounges when unconcious (as well as wrestle), and Transmetal... uh... we haven't quite figured out what it is that happens, but it relates to drinking Dr.Pepper. After having fashioned his coconut sword, Kain returns to find the two have built a fire.

"It's the middle of the day, why..."

"Het is het principe van de kwestie Kain"

"Yeah, what he said. Oh, I think I've figured what the soda does"

"That's wonderful, so any ideas as to how we're going to get off this island?"

"Die Antwort ist B. O. O. "

"Seriously Transmetal, what is he saying."

"Like I was trying to say... oh forget it, too late, just turn around."

Kain turned around to view a sea of people. Not a group mind you, we're talking biblical size group of people. All wore the same black tshirt, adorned with the symble of a white ghost. Quietly at first, but louder and louder they chanted.

"Die Antwort ist B. O. O.! Die Antwort ist B. O. O. ! DIE ANTWORT IST B. O. O. ! DIE ANTWORT IST B. O. O. ! DIE ANTWORT IST B. O. O. !"

"Trans? Cheesy? Grab a bamboo sword..."

To be continued in Letter F: How I Failed College!