The Volunteer Firefighters
Written by: Kain“Yes sir, we have some really impressive new recruits in the volunteer division. One guy even used to serve as a fire engineer at his last job down at the Mega-lo-Mart. See his recruitment sheet?” He hand the chief a slip of paper.
“Hmm, let’s see here. His name is Kain. No last name. What’s a fire engineer at a Mega-lo-Mart do? He worked there for six weeks then stopped going after his employer disappeared of mysterious circumstances. Yeah, this guy sounds interesting anyway. Wait, didn’t the Mega-lo-Mart burn down?” He looks up inquisitively at the recruitment official.
“Well, yes, but that was after he started working here. You see, it all began when...” Time rolls back to three weeks prior, when the new recruits started work.
An alarm sounds off, it’s high pitch and fierce vibrations force everyone in the firehouse to cover their ears in pain. “Damn it, Trans, turn that damn thing off will ya?”
“Screw you, if you want it off you turn it off. The damn thing’s been going off all morning.” Kain gives a sharp look at Transmetal then motion for a scruffy looking young man to go turn off the alarm permanently. After he is done stomping on the control box, Kain uncovers his ears and smacks Transmetal in the back of the head.
“Thanks, Cheese. At least someone can do something right around here. Now, we can have some peace and...” Kain’s sentence is stopped short as Wolfbane storms into the house.
“What the hell is going on in here? There is a pillar of smoke coming from half way across town, why haven’t you guys come for me? Wait, the alarm isn’t going off. Didn’t anyone call us?” Kain and Transmetal look at each other, then to Cheese, then to the busted alarm. Wolfbane follows their gaze. “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THE ALARM?! THERE’S A FIRE NOW LET’S MOVE!” With a series of grunts and groans, everyone slowly gets up and starts to put on their gear and loads into the truck.
As the garage door slides open, Transmetal slams on the accelerator. The tires screech as the truck lurches out of the firehouse. Transmetal speeds toward the fire. He stops once to try an e-brake turn. When the truck just makes a slow, normal turn, he yells at the top of his lungs how he hates the truck. Kain turns to him, “You know, you have hit the e-brake while you turn not before.”
“Oh.” Transmetal blushes and starts for the fire again.
The store is engulfed in flame. The employees watch and weep as the complex burns. Suddenly, a large crash comes from behind them as Transmetal crashes the truck into a tree in their front yard. Everyone scrambles out of the truck and strats to fight the fire.
“So how did the store burn down? Were they too late?”
The recruitment officer gives an uncomfortable look as he begins to explain. “Well, instead of water, they fought the fire with gasoline.”
“...You know you’re fired, right?”
“Yes sir.”