I love the Captain


Written by: CheesyBoy



“Skip it!”

“Okay, this is Black Dog by Led Zeppelin… you are officially not allowed to not like this song.”

“Why don’t you play anything new?”

“What about five seconds ago when you told me to skip a Flaming Lips song?”

“That isn’t new.”

“It was off their 2002 album, that’s recent.”

“Five fucking years isn’t recent.”

“White Stripes, Get Behind me Satan, 2005, you skipped it.”

“Whatever, skip this crap.”

“I swear to god, if you tell me to skip one more song I will shoot you in the eye and sell your body to necrophiliacs. Then once they are done desecrating you body via penetration of every orifice and bury you in a shallow unmarked grave I will come with gallons of water that I purchased with the necrophiliac’s money so I might drink them and urinate on your grave for hours, nay days on end.”

“That seemed way too specific to be off the cuff.”

“Preparation is important. Now we are going to listen to the entire collection of Captain Beefheart.”

“I don’t like the Captain though…”

“Did you want me to skip?”

“…”

“No? Good, we will start with Trout Mask Replica.”

-30 minutes later-

“AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“Quite, I’m trying to listen.”