Bound to Happen
Written by: CheesyBoy
“Wake up.”
“Huh?” mumbled Cheesyboy as he rolled over in his bed to look at who said that.
“I’m here to kill you”
“That’s nice. Nighty, night.” Cheesyboy goes back to bed. But he didn’t sleep for long, as it is hard to sleep after someone has kicked you, really hard.
“Dude, not cool. I was sleeping and shit.” Cheesyboy got out between curses and other such profanities.
“Seriously, I’m here to kill you. I was paid and everything. Look I even got a gun.” The rather large man held up his gun as proof.
“That’s nice.”
“Ready?”
“Can I put on some pants?”
“What?”
“I sleep with a certain lack of apparel.”
“What?”
“I sleep in the nude, and I would prefer to have my mangled corpse to be clothed when the police take photos of it.”
“Alright, but no funny stuff.” He lifted up the gun to emphasis the point.
“Or you’ll what, kill me while I’m putting pants on? I won’t exactly care once I’m dead.”
“So why do you care now?”
“Am I dead?” Cheesyboy asked.
“No.”
“There you go.”
The large man with a gun, who we shall refer to from now on as Kitty because writing “Large man with gun” is becoming annoying, was now none to pleased because he new he didn’t come out on top of that last exchange.
“What do you think of the name Kitty?” I asked (by the way we are switching from 3rd person to 1st person for an undisclosed amount of time.)
“I think you should shut your dirty little mouth and put some pants on.”
“How about a shirt?”
“I don’t know, what color were you thinking?”
“Orange, maybe a blue one.” Cheesyboy said (that previously mentioned undisclosed amount of time is now disclosed. Four paragraphs! )
“How about red, the blood won’t show to well on that.”
“Yeah, but being shot is a cool way to die, I don’t want to de-emphasize it.”
“A green shirt would bring out the color of your eyes.”
“Don’t they close those once you die?”
“Sure shoot down every one of my ideas. I’m just trying to help you look good when you die.” said Kitty.
“I’m sorry, you’re being really helpful.”
“I think the orange is your best bet. You look good in it, it will show the blood stains but not scream ‘I’ve been shot’ like the green one would.”
“Great idea.”
“Bye.”
“Have a nice day.” That was the last thing I said. (1st again, damn, I need to watch that.)